Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her but there are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up and I'll explain what they are in this article and how they can open the door for getting back together.

If you want to get your ex girlfriend back when she has moved on, the following 10 techniques will get her attention again.

1.) Do not be afraid to call her.

As soon as you call her try to keep control of the conversation by sounding vague and mysterious. Let her know that you've been thinking about her but that you're also busy living your life. If she thinks that you're over her she'll be a little more willing to contact you and keep the lines of communication open.

Also when you talk to her, don't do it five times a day. Keep it to once or twice a week maximum. If you call her too much too often she'll think you're desperate and needy and that's not a quality that a woman wants. Instead, keep your phone calls short and sweet. The less you say about yourself and what you've been doing the better.

2.) Contact her via email.

It's OK to send her an email, especially if the breakup wasn't amicable. It could be that you don't want to hear her voice right now and that's OK, I understand, and so the next best thing is to send an email.

The advantage to doing this over a text message or a Facebook wall post is that an email gives you the writing space you need to pour your heart out if you need to. So take advantage of technology and send her a quick note letter her know what you've been up to.

3.) It's totally fine to date other women after the breakup because chances are she'll be doing the same thing as well. But I want to caution you here, don't take dating other too seriously at this point.

Dating others and getting out and having a good time will do you good after the breakup by keeping your mind off her and raising your spirits if you're depressed. So get out there and get a life and keep an open mind.

4.) Remember her birthday.

Holidays are a great excuse to get in touch with your ex and you can't do better than a birthday because you can personalize the gift.

Everyone likes to be remembered on their birthday. So take the time and treat your ex a princess.

5.) Analyze her.

Do you really know what she wants or is looking for in a man? She wants a man who wants her for who she is, so pay attention to what she says and does when she talks.

If you didn't pay attention to her before when you were dating, do it now. You need to understand your ex now more than ever before.

6.) Avoid Jealousy.

One of the things that turns women off the most is jealous boyfriends or ex boyfriends. You've broken up and so you don't have any claim to her, what she does or who she sees.

So if you find that you're getting jealous of your ex, do something to take your mind off her. Go out with friends and get a life. Do things that make you happy so you're not obsessing over what she's doing right now.

Remember she is your ex. And getting back together with her means that you need to avoid this and accept the breakup for what it is.

7.) Be Nice.

How does she talk about you when she's with other people? Does your ex girlfriend talk nicely about you when she's discussing your relationship with others?

Did you give her any reason not to?

I know neither of you were perfect in the relationship, but this is a great indication as to how she really feels about you as a person. Try and find out what she's saying about you and take it as constructive criticism. Imagine how much better you'll be if you can take some of your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

8.) Don't play mind games.

It's really easy to play mind games with someone you've broken up with. But this won't do you any good when it comes to getting her back. Do you think it's going to help you get her back if you play mind games with her?

My advice to you is to stay away from playing any and all mind games during your breakup. If she's playing them with you, ignore them and focus on what's really important - her.

9.) Try not to give up control during the breakup.

Is your ex girlfriend chasing you after the breakup? If so, don't reveal your cards and don't overplay your hand. Even though you can have her back whenever you want because she's after you it's important to try and maintain control over the space you have so you can dictate what happens next.

Relationships are difficult and complex at the best of times. And when you're together, you want to keep the communication open between you two, but when you're apart you need to try and appear mysterious and more complex.

During your reconciliation with your ex girlfriend, don't ever tell her you love her unless you're absolutely certain she loves you back, because if you tell her but she doesn't feel the same way about you yet, then you've played your best card and that's something you can't get back.

10.) Become physically and intellectually attractive to her.

Even though it's not the most important thing on your ex girlfriend's checklist, you should try to stay in shape or get back in shape if needed so that you look like you're trying.

Also you should look at diversifying your interests to become more intellectually appealing to her as well. Not only do women want someone who takes care of themselves physically but they also want someone who's got some brains.

Did You Know?

If you want a second chance with your ex girlfriend there's one thing you can give her hat will help bring down the walls that she's built up and get the two of you communicating again and that's VALIDATION.

Start listening to her, understanding her and MOST importantly LET HER KNOW you hear her.

The sooner you learn this skill the sooner you'll have a second shot with her even if she's seeing another guy.

Learn more about validation here.

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